When The Sh1t Got Real..!!

Hola! this is UCeejay and it's my official comedy blog. Oh heyy.. don't call it shitty blog. GTFO!! loser :x


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Missed Call Bling (Parody of Drake’s Hotline Bling)

You used to study all night
You used to, you used to
Yeah!

You used to study all night on your wooden desk
Early morning when you need my aashirwaad
Call me on my incoming free wali voda SIM
Early morning when you give me missed call
And I know when that it is your missed call bling
That can only mean one thing
I know when that you need full talktime wala recharge
That can only mean one thing

Ever since you left the city for PMT classes you.. you..
You have made a lot of boyfriends for yourself now
Even Sharmaji knows and I feel left out
Girl you got me down my izzat, you got me stressed out
‘Cause ever since you left the city, you
Started wearing chote kapde and going out more with gande ladke
Glasses of sharaab, non-veg eating out on the disco pub (ullu ke patthi)
Hanging with aawara ladke I’ve never seen before

You used to study all night long on your lamp light
Early morning when you need my aashirwaad
Call me on my incoming free wali voda SIM
Early morning when you give me missed call
And I know when that it is your missed call bling
That can only mean one thing
I know when that you need full talktime wala recharge
That can only mean one thing

Ever since you left the city, you, you, you
I planned you will become doctor one day
Gyanacologist, Dermatologist or Pathologist
You have to lower your dowry for the wedding day
Going places where you don’t belong
Ever since you left the city, you
You got exactly what you asked for
Running out of balance in your ATM
Hanging with awara ladke I’ve never seen before

You used to study all night on your wooden desk
Early morning when you need my aashirwaad
Call me on my incoming free wali voda SIM
Early morning when you give me missed call
And I know when that it is your missed call bling
That can only mean one thing
I know when that you need full talktime wala recharge
That can only mean one thing

These days, all I do is
Wonder if you turning pages of H.C. Verma’s Physics
Wonder if you’re making notes from Pradeep’s Chemistry
Doing things I taught you, getting good rank in your PMT exam
You use to sleep early and wake early
You use to fill water bottles and put in refrigerator
Why you wake so late?
Why you not touching feet of elders?
Used to always stay at home, be a good girl
You was in a study zone, yeah
You should just be like that old girl
Right now, you’re someone else

You used to study all night on your study lamp
Early morning when you need my aashirwaad
Call me on my incoming free wali voda SIM
Early morning when you give me missed call
And I know when that it is your missed call bling
That can only mean one thing
I know when that you need full talktime wala recharge
That can only mean one thing

Ever since you left the city (ullu ki patthi)

MEME2015-11-03-12-19-36

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Parasite (Parody of Paradise by Coldplay)

When I was in the chatori gali
I ordered tangdi kabab
But it had been there for three days
And I started feeling so sick
I got a para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
Every time I go to the toilet
Uoooh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

When I was in the chotori gali
I ordered tangdi kabab
But it had been there for three days
And I beaten up that uncle

Life goes on
It feel not so heavy
I’m lighter than a butterfly
Everyday, a waterfall
On the cumboard, the cumboard bowl until midnight
On that dirty smelly cumboard
Who knows what’s happening inside

Fuck you para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

I hate you para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
Uoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

La la la La
La la la

So lying between my mummy
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh my diet is only khichdi.

Take this para- para- parasite
Fuckin’ Para- para- parasite
That khichdi with para- para- parasite
Uoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

I can be para- para- paralize
Fuck you Para- para- parasite
Could be para- para- parasite
Uoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

Go away para- para- parasite
Para- para- parasite
I hate you para- para- parasite
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.


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Startup Wale Babu Mujhe Fund Dila Do! (Parody of Dj wale Babu Mera Gana Chala Do)

TVF-Pitchers-Season-1

Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Fund dila do…
Pese dila do… (x3)

Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila de
Thoda jeb khali karde
Thoda investment toh badha de.. (x2)

Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Fund dila do…
Pese dila do…

Arey market mein teri sarkar bana doon
Table ko teri workstation bana doon
Waise to hoon Bhujiyawala
Main aaj raat tujhe draught pila doon
Magazines mai tere photo chhapwa doon
Takkar de jo koi tujhko
Uski company ka band bajawa doon
Jee bhar ke kama le developer
Dollar pound ke shower mein
Yaar mera hai finance minister
Baitha hai jo power mein

Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila de
Thoda jeb khali karde
Thoda investment toh badha de.. (x2)

Duniya rakhun jooton ke niche
Tu kahe toh ban jaaun minister
Din-raat kamau dollar pound
Hindi-English naye puraane
Hukum chala request na kar
Kama le sethji rest na kar
Patient hoon tere coding ka
Patience meri test na kar
Arey startup wale fund dede
Kaoun sa tere loss hojayega
Baki puri kar dunga me koi kasar jo reh rahi hai

Hoye… startup wale mera toh deja
O startup wale mera mera toh deja
Dollars kamaega to aayega mazaa
Pounds kamaega to aayega mazaa

Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Startup wale babu mujhe fund dila do
Fund dila do… Fund dila do…

Arey aaja developer tera fund dila doon
Arey aaja developer tera fund dila doon
Arey aaja developer tera fund dila doon
Fund dila doon…
Fund dila doon…
Dila doon.. aaja developer aaja
Dila doon.. aaja marketing wale aaja
DIla doon.. aja coder fund dila doon!


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Sex is waste of time (Parody of Love is waste of time from the movie PK)

 

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It’s made just for fun, so please don’t take it serious or get offended.

Tujhe thok thok thokte rehna
Teri ooh aah ooh sunte rehna
Kaam-kaaj sab ki maa chudva ke
tere piche piche chodte rehna
ee to hai waste of time
Sex is a waste of time
Anal Venal waste of time
Ee Sex is waste of time

Aa aa aah… oh aah

Phir bhi sonch liya hun gandwa
Ek baar toh iss din maa
Kar le waste of time
Karna hai waste of time
I want to fuck all the time
I Love this bhaste of time..

Aa aa aah… oh aah

Poore 75 baar porn’wa dekhe
32 baar hum apna lund hilayein
8 martaba condom change kiye hum
Bhar bhar botal badhiya lube lagaaye
Maarte rahe, marvate rahe
Kiya na koi bhi kaam
Aaj samajh mein aa gaya behna
Sex is waste of time

Phir bhi sonch liya hun gandwa
Ek baar toh iss din maa
Kar le waste of time
Karna hai waste of time
I want to fuck my time
I Love this bhaste of time..

Aa aa aah… oh aah

Ajab ghajab si uthal hai lund mai
Kaisi hai ye fuddi kaise batayein
Baithe baithe bina baat hilayein
Kya hai maal kuch bhi samajh na aaye
Chodne ka mann kare mann ki jor jor chillaye
Aaj samajh mein aa gaya behna
Sex is bhaste of time

Phir bhi sonch liya hun gandwa
Ek baar toh iss din maa
Kar le waste of time
Karna hai waste of time
I want to fuck all the time
I Love this bhaste of time..

Aa aa aah… oh aahh


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WiFi (Parody of Fifi from the movie Bombay Velvet)


Jaata kahaan hai deewane?
Sab signals yahan hai sanam
Baaki ke saare networks
Jhoote hain teri kasam

Wifi, connect with my Wifi
connect with your iphone Wifi
2G 3G hai bura…..

Signals badalne lage, Ghabra ke ghatne lage
3G Mila Bhi Nahin, 2G Sambhalne Lage
Aji Suniye Huzoor, Jaana Humse Na Door
Aji Suniye Huzoor
Dekho network zone se uth kar hai jana bura
Jaata kahaan hai deewane?
Sab signals yahan hai sanam
Baaki ke saare networks
Jhoote hain teri kasam

Wifi, connect with my Wifi
connect with your iphone Wifi
2G 3G hai bura…..

3G package hai tere pas magar
Mujhko na yun tann ke dekh
Nadaan zara ek baar
Connect toh karke dekh
Password dalo mere yaar
Hai yeh pehli mulaqaat
Pasword dalo mere yaar

Jaata kahaan hai deewane?
Sab signals yahan hai sanam
Baaki ke saare networks
Jhoote hain teri kasam

Wifi, connect with my Wifi
connect with your iphone Wifi
2G 3G hai bura…..


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Aarti All Night! feat. Alok Nath (Parody of *Party of All Night* from the film Boss)

honey-singh_Fotor_Collage

Aaj Mandira Khullan Do
Mann Atma Ghullan Do
Agarbatti Da Pack Laga Ke
Saari Duniya Bhullan Do

Aarti All Night x3

We Do Aarti All Night

Sun Lo Sari Duniya Waalon
Jitna Bhi Tum Jor Laga Lo
Karenge Aarti Sari Raat
Ghante Mein Dum Hai Toh Band Karwa Lo

Aarti All Night x3

We Do Aarti All Night
Sun Lo Sari Duniya Waalon
Jitna Bhi Tum Jor Laga Lo
Karenge Aarti Sari Raat
Ghante Mein Dum Hai To Band Karwa Lo

Aaj Mandira Khullan Do
Mann Atma Ghullan Do
Agarbatti Da Pack Laga Ke
Saari Duniya Bhullan Do
Bajate Raho.. Ghanta x3
Bajate Raho

Aarti All Night x3

We Do Aarti All Night

Jisne Bhi Aarti Hai Karni
Aa Jao Mere Ghar Ke Bheetar
Agarbatti, Lekar Khane ko hai halwa pudi bheetar
Mathura, Banaras, Veshno Devi Ke Pujari Aye Hain
Sath Mein Bhajan Ki CDiyaan Bhi Layi Hain (T-series Gulshan Kumar present’s)
Shraddhalu Samagri Ki Ibb Khud Zimmedaar Hain
Kar Lo Aarti Sari Raat Kal Padwa Hai
Pooja Hogi Loud Toh Ammaji Sara Prasad Khalengi
Ibb Ammaji Ne Jake Kah Do Ye Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi
Aarti All Night x3

We do Aarti All Night

Ammaji Laddo Utha Legi
Ammaji Barfi Utha Legi
Ammaji Peda Utha Legi
Ammaji Prasad Kha Legi

Phir Bhi Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi

Aarti Yun Hi Chalegi x3
Yeh Aarti Yun Hi Chalegi

Sun Lo Sari Duniya Waalon
Jitna Bhi Tum Shor Macha Lo
Karenge Aarti Sari Raat
Ghante Mein Dum Hai Toh Band Karwa Lo

Aaj Mandira Khullan Do
Mann Atma Ghullan Do
Agarbatti Da Pack Laga Ke
Saari Duniya Bhullan Do

Bajate Raho.. Ghanta x3
Bajate Raho

Aarti All Night x3

We Do Aarti All Night

Khulla mandir khulla misthan
Har Koi Bole Ghar Nahi Jaana
Bapuji Ko Tu Karde Message
Aajari Karke Bahana
Aarti Hogi Bahut Bhayankar
Aarti Ke Gazab Nazaare
Dikkath Hai Bas Ek Baat Ki
Gaanv Mein Ek Hai  Alok Nath Purane

Ghaghra Wali Chori Ne Yun
Morti Chada Rakhi Hai
Ek Sambhal Na Hori Iss Se
Doosri Utha Rakhi Hai
Itni Badi Hogayi Hai Tab Bhi
Shadi Nahi Ho Rakhi Hai
Sanskar Tujhme Hai Tab Bhi
Mujhse Kanyadan Nahi Kara Rakhi Hai

Aarti All Night x3
We Do Aarti All Night

Ammaji Laddo Utha Legi
Ammaji Barfi Utha Legi
Ammaji Peda Utha Legi
Ammaji Prasad Kha Legi

Phir Bhi Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi
Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi x3
Sun Lo Sari Duniya Waalon
Jitna Bhi Tum Shor Macha Lo
Karenge Aarti Sari Raat
Ghante Mein Dum Hai Toh Band Karwa Lo

Aaj Mandira Khullan Do
Mann Atma Ghullan Do
Agarbatti Da Pack Laga Ke
Saari Duniya Bhullan Do

Bajate Raho.. Shankh x3

Bajate Raho
Ammaji Laddo Utha Legi
Ammaji Barfi Utha Legi
Ammaji Peda Utha Legi
Ammaji Prasad Kha Legi

Phir Bhi Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi
Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi x3
Aarti Yoon Hi Chalegi!! 😀

Alok_3[1]

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