Hello! Bhaiyo aur meri Saheliyo! Sorry for this post that I am going to write.. wait a second… I am actually writing. Err Again. Hello! Bhaiyo aur Saheliyo! Sorry for such a long time to write a new post. Sach Sach Batao Kiss Kiss ne mujhe miss kiya? Ummm Hmmm Aaan Haan!! 😉
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This article is all about what sh1t we usually see in our big fat Indian weddings. Yes Shaadi, that way in which parents of the bride and grooms wants to get away from their children and finally let their life live in their way independently. Band baja-wala, Nagede-wala, phool-wala, singers, DJs, Indian-wear fashion Industry, catering-wala, nayi (barber), pundito ki roti ka aadhar. Ression ho ya Inflation shaadi mubarak zindabaad! Indian wedding are not about the bonding of two straight people. It is about the bonding of two families where couples have to attach with every other family member including that buddhi dadi who speaks gibberish and on liquid diet. For couple’s family. The first thing they think about wedding is the organization of the ceremony. In working middle class parents have to arrange a separate fixed deposit bank account so that they can easily pay all the spendings without installments and all that financial shit. Because even if the family can not afford the spendings of their normal day to day.
This is what google search result comes out when you type Indian Wedding.
They all do so much just for the pseudo show off. Inflation might have burned a hole in mango people’s pocket but the Indian wedding is as big and fat as ever. For all other family members and relatives. It is all about heavy shopping, food and floor breaking dance. So first I tell you all about this heavy shopping specially of outfits and accessories. 
Shopping, shopping and more Goddamn shopping. Specially with these women. Sorry girls! I am not some kind of jerk or who hate all this culture and tradition but yes this shit all happen when a typical Indian lady do prepare after listening about someone is getting married. 😀 Lagun ke liya yeh dress. Shagun ke liye woh wali saree. Mehndi ke liya woh wala kurta. Sangeet mai chiffon wali saree. Jaymala wali night woh naya designer lehnga. Shoes, sandals, watches, bangles, perfumes, and lot of more expensive stuffs that I am familiar with. So overall it becomes hours and time and money and never ending satisfaction. Because no matter how much you spend, how gorgeous you look, the next lady would definitely appearing better. 😛
After writing this I’ve very less chances of getting laid this week) For men it is the most the moment of chaos and usually takes very less time in comparison to women. Most of the people use to wear suit and tie, kurta pajama or sherwani. For this all they need either go to retail outlets and simply purchase as per their size. But if the person is very fussy about the what he wears or of abnormal size. He has to give to tailor master and have to wait for weeks to get. Not the all like women but most the bachelors and some freaks. Most prefer to wear kurta pajamas and try to look like Shahrukh of K3G even when they have a face of Saif  in Roadside Romeo. 😀 
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After meaningless shopping of dressings. Here comes the arrival of the both parties. Ladkiwale “The bride’s side” and Ladkewale “The groom’s side”. Traditionally Ladkiwale arrange the arrangements for all the ceremonies and functions. Now here it comes the main event where everyone is gets ready with all glittering and sleekly face. Double facial, heavy makeups, loads of precious jewelry to show off. Normal people do wass up? and some people started to do up wass! 😉 Yes, the fast of not eating so that they can enjoy different different varieties of culinary at the same evening. Usually in Indian wedding locally invited people mostly are not interested to know about the bride and groom, what they do, where they are from, how much money they spend on everything else. They all eat four times of their regular appetite and then say aaj toh *kuchh zyada ho gya*. (Clapping).
Different people, different way to enjoy the meal. Non-vegan mostly attack on the chicken dishes and eat like they are eating after years or will not able to eat after that. Many of you guys familiar with tradition Punjabi way of eating where the person take a regular plate, fill up with a pound of rice or pulao. The classical way is to keep it in the shape of some conical mountain. No matter what they like, know about the dish. All the gravies on the top, middle with dried dishes, the sides are filled with naan, puri or any other kinda bread. They try to fill serve everything in their plate/s.
So that next time whenever they meet to someone, they can not say I didn’t tried that, I missed that or make fun of someone who didn’t tasted. 😛 After food here comes the time to dance. The part of the time when every creature wants to express that they have guts to dance like MJ, Usher, Shakira, Beyonce. In the end of the day, they have to deal with Govinda, Sri Devi, Anil Kapoor swag. In weddings no matter a person ever dance in rest of other moments but he or she have to dance like a freak. From a 3 year old who just stated to walk properly an uncle with all grey hair. Just dance like they won some big battle and it’s time to celebrate until they collapse. In typical Punjabi weddings or say a free booze party where usually men drink like they will never ever gonna get a glass of liquor to drink in rest of their life. After drinking glasses all they go crazy and dance in, what say.. Just daans!. -_-
Usually the dance of the family members of the groom side (Ladkewale) starts from the classical ceremony called “Ghudsavari” where groom riding a mare comes with his side and with the dancing shoes on the public road. In arrangements a group of so called band comes with the party. All the Nagadawala beats their Nagada (big Indian drum) and few big military hand drum sturdily no matter where they are, it’s incredible India. Mostly in Indian weddings a wedding singer is also arranged who is the best example of the people who think they can do all the job of the day in couple of hours. I mean they don’t have any singing talent or so but all they do is sing the limited number of bollywood songs that they mugged up. Though the main concern of them is not singing, as they are can do voice of both male and female, yea right! they also sing songs by female artists by making a painful ear bleeding high pitch voice. Although wherever you go in North India. They always sing these limited number of songs for sure whithout it no wedding can be finished. Songs like “Naagin, the snake song”, Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai”, “Kudi Punjaban dil chura ke”, “Kajra re” “Munni Badnaam Hui” etc in the as high volume as they can arrange.
Here are a couple of clips of Indian wedding dances that you may like to enjoy. 😀
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=327098337416818&set=vb.188365381302107&type=2&theater http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jcstt9Ry8i8
When The Sh1t Got Real..!! 